Tuesday, October 08, 2013
Diane Blanco
Fashion Week has just ended in New York and everyone is buzzing about all the great new clothes that were featured on the runway. The only trouble is, they were spring and summer clothes, which means we have at least 6 more months to suffer through the current train wreck of fashions in the stores now.
Dont get me wrong, I have frequently been a fashion disaster victim more times that I can count. I would have probably bought singer Borks swan outfit she wore to the Oscars in 2001, if she hadnt bought it first. I do like feathers, and stuffed animals!
And what for Heavens sake was I thinking with wide horizontal stripes around my posterior? Perhaps it was the fact that I was shopping with my sister at the time who bought the exact same outfit in red and black. Synergy is not always a positive thing.
Recently, after spending a depressing 8 hours trying on every questionable garment in my collection (that is a code for clothes and accessories, atrocious to adorable), I got up the courage to purge at least half of the clothes I have been holding onto just because they looked good on hangers--not so, on me. With all this empty space in my closet I knew it was time to go shopping and find some really great clothes I could feel good in.
Two shopping trips and 12 hours later, I can tell you do not waste your time in the stores, unless you have somehow time-traveled from the 1960s where you lived in a commune and said words like peace and groovy a lot. I went from high- end stores to teen meccas and the clothes are all the same--psychedelic florals and geometric prints on sleazy polyester with giant sleeves and short skirts.
Pants are big and flowing or skinny in bright colors emphasizing what most women over 40 would prefer to camouflage. The peasant blouse is back and it is sheer or maybe its a dress now, with a skirt that is only 12 inches long.
Yesterday I drug 6 different outfits into a dressing room with the thought that maybe I would look better in some of these styles if I would just give them a chance and try them on.
I cant really find words that are descriptive enough to tell you how I looked in the first 5 outfits. It was as if I had turned into a woman in a Picasso painting, whose next act would be to put her shoe in her ear. They were all bizarre.
I had one outfit left. It was by a new designer who in horror, I am sure, had turned away from the current fashion craze to do his own thing.
His spring collection of pants and tops was all in beautiful textured neutrals in a lovely linen fabric. I noticed both the jackets and pants were cut full, but I thought, great to hide those extra pounds I picked up on my last cruise.
One look in the mirror and I realized that if I were camping, I would not need a tent. Even wearing a small top and pants (and I am small only in my dreams), I could have invited three of my dearest friends in for tea.
It may be a long fall and winter while I wait with hope for better fashion options in my favorite stores.
I did note one encouraging trend from the runway, net skirting over high heels. We dont need to buy new shoes for fall, just get the ones we have some cute little outfits.
Diane is the director of the womens center at Lone Star College-Kingwood and longtime community humorist.
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